If Only For Tonight

Ever once in a while there comes moments in my life, where i feel like a situation is more alive, and has more presence then most of my other moments. Like one night at a party where you look into the crowd and feel all your friends coalescing in one place, and knowing the stories behind you and some of those friends, would tear most people miles and miles apart, and the stories that are yet to unfold will never destroy that bond. Or like a late night drive, and that one song comes on that seems to make everything feel super focused and crystal clear. Its a feeling i wait all day to feel, and wish i could feel all the time, and maybe when i was younger i did, my innocent and untarnished mind would wonder and things felt more important and big... but now i wait with baited breath.. for a night where focus is attainable.

Most moments of my life seem flat, dull, scattered, uncolorful, and I'm sure more words that pertain to a lack of importance and uniformity. Yet if only for tonight under these stars, i can feel permanent and feel my presence is so big yet so small, under this atmosphere.. i would gladly die knowing i felt it once or a few times at least. I wonder if anyone ever feels that same way. Maybe its some deep Romanticism I've constructed in my head, but i tend to think, as we get older these feelings are harder and harder to find, and we have to force ourselves to break monotony's hold on us to truly appreciate what we have in our lives, and what has been molded around us, our friends, our families, our interests and passions, space, time, all that lies behind, in front and within us physically and mentally, its hard to imagine i can forget these things when they are so grand and amazing, but i do.

So what I'm gonna do is listen to Cap'n Jazz open my blackout curtains stare out the window and appreciate everything life has to offer, and try to feel a little less self conscious and feel like part of the bigger picture.

Today Is The Start...

I feel that in someway my life is running on a new alternative fuel that is in someway healthier to my personal well being, and i have to say it feels rather amazing!

I got to see Jonsi this week with someone who has been a part of my life for a long time.. and has been entirely too far away. It was one of the most amazing nights of my life, Jonsi was incredible, easily the best performance I've ever seen in my life, imagine your world being quaked by the sound 5 or 6 guys are making on a stage, the power and beauty of witnessing it up close was phenomenal! Also all of the stage setup, lighting and visual that went along with it was amazing. Being able to share that experience with one person was so "magical" ha ha to say the least. I wish i could see that happen every night. Id like to thank you Michelle for bringing me with you, it means the world to me.

With all the good, bad, new beginnings, finally endings, i feel my life is taking a turn for the better, and i hope it lasts long enough to make an impact on my life, though i really think it already has and will continue. In one night watching a man perform on a stage my life came into focus and all the heartbreak, denying, unhappiness, misery I've inflicted on myself and others seemed to be fleeting and finally for once i felt no weight on my shoulders. No more looking back in worry or in pain, I'm stepping forward and hoping for the best. Here Goes Something.

One Win Choice will be hitting up Wilmington, NC http://radfestnc.com for Rad Fest soon, which seems like it will be an amazing time with lots of friends and bands i don't know Personally but sure do love! I have to say i love this band, i love these guys, and i m so grateful for the opportunity they have offered me as a musician. They are some rad dudes, who believe deeply in what they say and do, and have more passion then most people I've ever met. Sometimes, I'm a lucky guy. (rarely)

Lets hope for more of this!


I feel my first blog has been enlightening for me, hope it does something for you!